I think the best advice on selecting friends is to pick those that build you up, it's not that other friends are tearing you down; most simply never build you up. They may be preoccupied with their own distractions, or maybe they aren't built up themselves.
5 Questions to ask about your friends
1. If someone told you that you're a lot like your friend, would you take that as a compliment?
2. Are you truly fulfilled in your friendship or is it just someone to prevent you from feeling lonely?
3. Are you able to be unappologetically yourself, or do you feel the need to act differently to please that friend?
4. Do you like who this friend is now or do you see them for who they could be some day?
5. Would you want your child to be friends with someone like this person?
These should be ideally all yes's, but mostly yes's or first choice is best; in my case good friends were only from the 100% yes/first choice category.
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Pain in life is inevitable, suffering is optional. -Buddha
"Slow is smooth and smooth is fast" -Jeff Bezos (retelling a quote he had heard.)
On the relevance of passing time (2025)
A young person who was 35 in 1980, is now 80. A teenager who was 15 in 1970, is now 70. Time goes quick, as that really wasn't that long ago and they were young and very young; but now they're old and very old. To a person who's been an adult for 1 year, it seems like a long time; but an adult who's been an adult for 20 years that same year seems like a smaller time (about 1/20th.) People who are much older than I am have assured me that time doesn't start speeding up when they get older, perhaps this is because a person who has been an adult for 40 years has only been an adult for twice as long as the person who's been an adult for 20 years; but the person who's been an adult for 20 years has been one for 20x as long as the person who's been an adult for 1 year. Every day, plan your day; every year plan your year and make adjustments as needed. Make time to travel, be well rested, don't be afraid of taking risks; have no regrets.
A wise man once said:
If you're 37. Instead of regretting that you can't wake up age 18 again, pretend to yourself that you're 90 and you've woken up age 37 again, and that you get to magically, wonderfully have the next 50 years again.
Most famous laws in the world: Murphys Law: The more you fear something happening, the more likely it is to occur. Kidlins Law: If you write a problem down clearly and specifically, you have solved half of it. Gilberts Law: When you take on a task, finding the best way to achieve the desired result is always your responsibility. Wilsons Law: If you prioritize knowledge and intelligence, money will continue to come. Falklands Law: If you don’t have to make a decision about something, then don’t decide.
A monk once said:
"Imagine being bitten by a snake, and instead of focusing on healing from the poison,
You chase the snake to understand why it bit you and to prove that you didn't deserve it."
Mind Blowing Psychology Tricks to Dominate Any Situation:
If someone is looking at you and it bothers you, just look at their shoes. This will make them feel uncomfortable, and they will stop looking at you.
If you're in an argument, stay silent. When the other person finishes speaking, continue to stay silent and just stare at them. This will annoy them greatly.
If you have anxiety while talking to someone, chew gum. It tricks your brain into feeling calm.
If you want someone to tell you the truth, make them laugh before asking.
It's important to be impeccably honest, nobody will do business with you if you're not. Loyalty is also important, as is honoring the deals you make. I always encouraged these values in students, also wanting to show them that even if they got a bad grade; there's usually time to fix it and it's not the end of the world. I created this site to share the best concepts I could put into a digital brochure of advice. Another point, sometimes you have to simply agree to disagree rather than hate someone over a differing opinion. Ed Koch once said "if you agree with most of what I say, vote for me. If you agree with everything I say, you need to see a psychiatrist." We're all going to disagree on things, it's important to value friends and colleagues enough to agree to disagree; even if they have a view you despise. Either one of you could be wrong, but more importantly; which is more valueable: you're relationship with them or the issue? According to Karl Popper's falsification theory, a scientific idea must be capable of being disproven; if it cannot be falsified, it is not considered scientifically meaningful.
"Man conquers the world by conquering himself." -The Stoic philosopher Zeno
"You'll often forget what someone said to you, but you'll never forget the way they made you feel." -Robin Williams
Always remember to think critically and consider the source!
